New game, new rules.
I never had problems finding a new job, not even when I did not have any working experience. I always got what I wanted, in pretty much every aspect of my life. My friends used to call it good luck, but luck is something I never believed in. I call it now determination, resilience and will. Attitude if you want to summarise.
I was young and eager to work hard and learn, I was there for it. The mission was to find a good job, where I would have big responsibilities, I would make shit loads of money and would be successful, therefore happy. Well, this is what I thought right up until I was 29ish. Apparently the dreams that I unconsciously had set for myself, were not going to fulfil me as much as I would’ve expected. I had accomplished all the goals, had overcome all the challenges and I finally got where I was supposed to be. But I wasn’t very happy…
I believe the dream I had been chasing after was my parent’s dream, a dream where their son was dressing on a suit, managing other people, assuming responsibilities and being socially successful. And when I got there, I had problems to get a good sleep, I was quite addicted to caffeine and there was no way of getting a few hours of good sleep without having a few joints before going bed. I would sleep for a couple of hours then wake up. One more hour, then wake up again, and I wasn’t even realising I was stressed as fuck.
After a while, and for something that has nothing to do with stress, I ended up going to a psychologist. I wasn’t there because I was having a stressful life, cos I didn’t even know this was a stressful life. It was the only life I had experienced so far, so I had no clear idea there were other ways to live life. Anyway, here I am, talking to a woman that is going to help me overcome some kind of relationship problem with my “married to another man” girlfriend. And after one hour jumping on that chair (as she indicated at the end of the session), she concluded I was very much stressed and I needed to chill out a bit or I would start having real health problems very soon.
Ok, so what I am supposed to do now? I did like what she said and it did make lot of sense, so I continued seeing her. Usually once a week, sometimes I was having so much trouble managing my emotions I would go even twice. My brain was a mess. I could see how this was going to “end” well, but I couldn’t see when. What I did not realise by then is I was just starting a journey which I would never come back from. They say we all have two lives, and the second one starts when you realise you only have one. So this is when my second life started. I already had a second opportunity when I nearly died on a car crash. So, the right thing to do would be to start living my life NOW. I focused on this.
The first thing I did was getting together with mum and dad. I was making a decision, a pretty important one. I wasn’t happy with my successful life anymore, what I was doing for a living wasn’t making me happy anymore. I was so bloody stressed out and I was not even 30!! So, I decided to live my own experience, I made the determination of finding whatever made me happy in life and going for with no hesitation. My personal growth had just started. Mum and dad needed to know it. They are my best friends after all. I expected some kind of answer on the lines of: be careful, don’t do it etc. But instead, those two amazing persons told me: ” we only want you to be happy Carlos, go after your dreams and make they come true”. I will never have enough words to express my love to these guys. What an absolutely fantastic couple, mother and father they are and have always been!!
It didn’t take long for me to find the way to made myself redundant at work. I managed to get paid a decent amount of money which gave me the perfect opportunity to start over again. I would now have time to think and eventually become whatever I wanted to be. Everyone can do this, not that I have super powers, I just believe in myself as everyone should do. So, I had the time, I had the money and I had a world of opportunities ahead!! WIN!!
I started my own music business in Spain, which considering how the laws are made in this country, it’s a pretty extra hard enterprise. After a while swimming against the tide, the idea of travelling overseas came very strong into my mind. I always wanted to live in another country, I always wanted to experience a different culture, and I always wanted to learn English. I decided I was going to move somewhere else in the world. I wasn’t sure where, but I would soon find out.
I spent a week in Berlin talking to its people, walking and exploring the city and its possibilities. Ok got it, I didn’t want to live there. UK was another option, but seemed too easy and full of Spaniards, so it didn’t look like I was going there either. Someone told me something about Australia one day, and I thought: oh, this sounds like something I would do… And so I did.
In January 2012 I flew to Sydney with a 4 months student visa in my pocket. I didn’t quite know this was not going to be a 4 months trip. Instead I ended up spending in Sydney nearly 5 years, this has been so far the most fulfilling, exciting and challenging experience I EVER had. The real journey started. Australia has become the love of my life. I only got back about a year ago. I am still getting used to live in Spain. The reverse cultural shock is real shit, not sure whether I got over it or not yet, it’s hard to tell.
I am now in Down Under, a new country, new people, new culture…
A new game, with new rules…